3/14/2017 – Indie 180 – The Inversion Circus


BROADCAST TIME – 8PM TO 11PM EST.

LOCATION:

  • Call in: 203-794-OFNR(6367)

Brought to you in part by:

cc-logo

COLDCOCK WHISKEY

Made with aged American bourbon & herbs like green tea, hibiscus, eucalyptus, ginger, gingko and many more. Smooth taste, no whiskey burn.

TAKE YOUR SHOT!

http://www.coldcockwhiskey.com/

blowpaste-vegan-lube-toothpaste

Blowpaste

Unlike most lubricants that have preservatives and aspartame, Blowpaste is a simple way to keep your mouth clean and fresh while doing the deed. You can also use blowpaste for massage, lip gloss, and of course hand jobs.  Blowpaste is good for any cavity!  SUBSTITUTE YOUR TOOTHBRUSH WITH A DICK! BJ A Day with Blowpaste.

http://Cheekychacha.com


Upcoming OFNR related Shows, Events, and Specials
ALWAYS BOOKING GUESTS – If you are in a band, know a band, know of a band.

MARCH

  • 3.18.2017 – SWWL, VRSA, Falling Further, Vision Within – Cherry Street [Live Broadcast]
  • 3.21.2017 – NO SHOW
  • 3.28.2017 – Blood of Angels [Phone Interview]

APRIL

  • 4.4.2017 – Dan Vieu – Promote Rise of the Underground [Phone]
  • 4.8.2017 – Rise of the Underground (Vision Within, Falling Further, Cross The Divide, Paragon Theorem, Sirius Fades and Vespera) – Cherry Street [Live Broadcast]
  • 4.25.2017 – State of the Music Industry Round Table
  • 4.29.2017 – Nasty Disaster 20th Anniversary – Hermon Von Roll’s last Stand… with EOTD and Garbage Barge. [Live Broadcast]

MAY

  • 5.2.2017 – Left Hand Backwards [In Studio]
  • 5.7.2017 – Star Wars Jeopardy – League of Extraordinary Frontmen [In Studio/on location]

JULY

  • 7.9.2017 – Indie 180 Presents – 3 Kisses – Cherry Street [Live Broadcast]

INTERVIEW


Cannabis Collective


Fuckem News

Sucked off 60 dudes

Grandma got punched on her scooter

A great-grandmother suffered bruises to the face and arms after she claims she was punched multiple times by a woman on Sunday in the bread aisle of a Walmart in Atlanta, Georgia.

Sandra McClung, 75, spoke to WALB News, a local news station, on Tuesday, saying, “I thought I was safe. I was in Walmart. There had to be something wrong with her, because you just don’t do that.”

McClung was in one of the store’s mobility scooters when she accidentally ran into Alexa Venderburg with her scooter, according to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

The paper, citing a police report, says Venderburg cursed at McClung to move out of the way. When McClung did, the paper says, she cursed Venderburg under her breath, which incited Venderburg to allegedly punch McClung in the face several times, the newspaper reports.

“She starts socking me as hard as she could in the face, which you can tell by my face that it was pretty hard,” McClung claimed to WALB News.

McClung also spoke to WSB-TV, another local news station, about the ordeal, saying, “I had my glasses on and she just kept socking me in the glasses and then she socked me in my mouth because my mouth is real sore.”

“I kept screaming, ‘Help.’ Nobody came,” McClung added.

Walmart security eventually came to help her and that’s when she said she noticed Venderburg had left her cell phone behind.

“She had dropped her phone in my buggy,” McClung tells WSB-TV. “Seems God did that so we could find her.”

Venderburg could face assault and battery charges, according to WALB News.

Seafood Smackdown

CITY ISLAND, The Bronx — The bar at Seafood City in the Bronx closed early Friday after a vicious chair-throwing brawl broke out at the family restaurant the night before.

Video captured the chaos that ensued at the restaurant on City Island Avenue Thursday night.

Multiple people were seen throwing chairs around in the large dining room for several minutes.

Police were called to the scene, but by the time they arrived the people involved in the fight were gone. There was no police report filed.

It’s unclear what started the fight, but Seafood City’s management said they believe alcohol was a factor.

“The kids just seems to be, just lack any kind of decency or morals today. There’s no consequences for their behaviors. It’s really sad and it’s unfortunate the kids would come to a family place like this and totally disrupt and cause chaos,” a woman outside the restaurant told PIX11 News.

The restaurant stopped serving alcohol by 6 p.m. on Friday. It will close at that time until further notice, according to signs posted by the management.

Seafood City is known for its affordable food and family-style atmosphere. The incident is isolated, but many people in the neighborhood aren’t happy about it.

A community board member is calling for the state to suspend the restaurant’s liquor license.

“I’m urging the state liquor authority to take a good look at how this can happened here, how the lax is the security and how we can remove it. We need to have the liquor license suspended immediately. We can’t have our family take that risk anymore,” Majorie Velazquez from Community Board 10 said.

GTA Cheat Code… in real life!?

Some people throw things when they’re unhappy, others convert their bulldozer into a tank and destroy half their town.

Marvin John Heemeyer chose the latter option after losing a zoning dispute. The outraged welder and auto mechanic outfitted his Komatsu D355A bulldozer with homemade armor plating.

Using 5000 psi Quikrete concrete mix layered between sheets of tool steel, Heemeyer covered his cabin, engine, and portions of his tracks with 1 foot thick armor plates.

He mounted multiple cameras around the exterior which could be viewed by multiple monitors mounted to the dashboard.

This man was so outraged he was willing to destroy a town, but maintained the thoughtful composure to include air jets that would blast dust away from the camera lenses. Now that’s planning ahead!

Heemeyer also added multiple gun ports for his .50 caliber, .308 caliber, and .22 caliber rifles. Once his machine was finished, the rampage began.

Local police in Granby, Colorado were completely helpless to stop the improvised tank. The 200+ rounds of ammunition fired at the tank-dozer may as well have been spitballs and the three explosives they planted on the armor did literally jack squat.

Authorities later discovered a homemade remote control crane Heemeyer used to mount the armor hull over his cabin after he was already inside. The disgruntled man clearly had no intention of leaving the tank alive, and his rampage only ended after he died from a self inflicted gunshot wound

Can’t an old man get a table dance?

A 26-year-old former nursing home employee was charged after police say she performed a sexually provocative act involving a 100-year-old resident.

The incident was recorded by another former nursing home employee, police say.

Brittany L. Fultz, 26, of Marblehead, is facing a charge of gross sexual imposition.

Police says the act was similar to a lap dance. The male resident has dementia, police say.

Fultz was released from the Erie County Jail.  She could not be reached to comment.

The incident happened at The Commons of Providence, at 5000 Providence Drive, in December.

Officials at The Commons of Providence did not return calls.

Fultz was set for a hearing in court Tuesday. The court said the case was rescheduled.

Liquor in the front, unemployment in the rear.

Fernando Bryant, a cornerback who played 10 NFL seasons, was fired from a job as head coach of a Georgia high school football team less than three weeks after signing his contract.

The apparent reason? A three-year old photo on his wife’s Instagram account.

A first-round pick of the Jacksonville Jaguars in 1999, Bryant signed a contract to be the head coach of Strong Rock Christian School, but not long after the school asked him to resign, allegedly after parents raised issues about his past on social media.

Talking to WXIA, Bryant said that when he refused to resign, he was fired.

Bryant’s termination letter specifically mentions social media as the reason he was let go, but he said he was never told which specific post or posts led to the school’s decision.

“This letter will confirm that Strong Rock Christian School has made a decision not to move forward with your employment in the position of head coach of the football team and physical education teacher.

As we discussed, after we made the offer to you, some within our parent community raised concerns regarding your family’s public presence on social media and the internet and questioned whether the postings and information were consistent with our Christian values.

We’re sorry that our relationship had to end before it started. We wish you the best,” the letter stated.

A source within the football program provided WXIA with the photo that apparently caused the controversy, a three-year old photo on Amber Bryant’s Instagram account of the couple at a party, with Fernando holding a bottle of liquor. The football team source said program officials knew of the photo before hiring Fernando Bryant, but a parent raised concerns.

READ MORE


3/7/2017 – Indie 180 – Omen Faculty


BROADCAST TIME – 8PM TO 11PM EST.

LOCATION:

  • Call in: 203-794-OFNR(6367)

Brought to you in part by:

cc-logo

COLDCOCK WHISKEY

Made with aged American bourbon & herbs like green tea, hibiscus, eucalyptus, ginger, gingko and many more. Smooth taste, no whiskey burn.

TAKE YOUR SHOT!

http://www.coldcockwhiskey.com/

blowpaste-vegan-lube-toothpaste

Blowpaste

Unlike most lubricants that have preservatives and aspartame, Blowpaste is a simple way to keep your mouth clean and fresh while doing the deed. You can also use blowpaste for massage, lip gloss, and of course hand jobs.  Blowpaste is good for any cavity!  SUBSTITUTE YOUR TOOTHBRUSH WITH A DICK! BJ A Day with Blowpaste.

http://Cheekychacha.com


Upcoming OFNR related Shows, Events, and Specials
ALWAYS BOOKING GUESTS – If you are in a band, know a band, know of a band.

MARCH

  • 3.11.2017 – Shore Metal Madness Fest V
  • 3.14.2017 – Inversion Circus [Phone Interview]
  • 3.18.2017 – SWWL, VRSA, Falling Further, Vision Within – Cherry Street [Live Broadcast]
  • 3.21.2017 – NO SHOW
  • 3.28.2017 – Blood of Angels [Phone Interview]

APRIL

  • 4.4.2017 – Dan Vieu – Promote Rise of the Underground [Phone]
  • 4.8.2017 – Rise of the Underground (Vision Within, Falling Further, Cross The Divide, Paragon Theorem, Sirius Fades and Vespera) – Cherry Street [Live Broadcast]
  • 4.29.2017 – Nasty Disaster 20th Anniversary – Hermon Von Roll’s last Stand… with EOTD and Garbage Barge. [Live Broadcast]

MAY

  • 5.7.2017 – Star Wars Jeopardy – League of Extraordinary Frontmen [In Studio/on location]

JULY

  • 7.9.2017 – Indie 180 Presents – 3 Kisses – Cherry Street [Live Broadcast]

Random Shit and FUBAR Topics

[ BREAK ]

GAME: Trump or Hitler

6/10

[ BREAK ]

Sex Rules

SPINDALE, N.C. (AP) — When it comes to relationships, marriage and sex, Word of Faith Fellowship members must follow strict and unusual rules — or risk severe punishment, former members say.

Some of the edicts:

— Congregants need permission from leader Jane Whaley and other ministers to get married, and it then can take months — or even a year — before the newlyweds are allowed to have sex.

— No one is allowed to date without permission, and most relationships and marriages are arranged by Whaley and ministers.

— On their wedding night, couples are permitted only a “godly peck on the cheek.” When they get in bed together, they must roll over and go to sleep.

— For all married couples, love-making is limited to 30 minutes, no foreplay is allowed, the lights must be turned off and only the missionary position is sanctioned.

— Couples need permission from church leadership to have children, and leaders dole out condoms to make sure unapproved women don’t get pregnant.

The former followers said couples violating the rules can be publicly rebuked, subjected to violence or forced to separate.

READ MORE


INTERVIEW


Cannabis Collective


Fuckem News

He wanted head… but not like this…

An 18-year-old teenager in North Carolina was arrested on Monday after decapitating his mother and then calling police, authorities say. Oliver Funez walked out of the house carrying a butcher’s knife in one hand and his mother’s severed head in the other as police arrived, reports said.

Police said that Funez called police to the house just east of Zebulon, North Carolina around 1pm on Monday. When police arrived, officers said he placed the head on the ground and was arrested.

A sherriff said it was “a gruesome scene” to local news site, WRAL.com. Two children were thought to be in the home at the time of the incident but neither was injured, another son was at school at the time.

A neighbour told the news site that he passed by the scene later and could not forget the look he saw on one police officer’s face: “He just looked like he was just blown away. I mean, he was just in terror, he was so upset.”

READ MORE

One tequila, two tequila, 3 tequila, floor.

The dad of a newborn baby has died after “downing” a bottle of tequila in a nightclub without stopping.

Kelvin Rafael Mejía took part in the stunt in the Dominican Republic in an effort to secure prize money of 40,000 pesos – the equivalent of roughly £680.

He could be seen standing on stage of the Vacca Lounge club in the city of La Romana and completing the challenge as dozens of spectators took images with mobile phones and cheered him on.

However, as the 23-year-old neared the end of the bottle, he could be seen needing support and had to be held to remain upright.

After ingesting the full bottle, Mejía raised his arms in jubilation and remained conscious long enough to be handed his prize money, but seconds later could be seen wobbling around before collapsing.

He was taken to the nearby Centro Médico Coral for treatment, but died shortly after of suspected alcohol poisoning.

Burned alive

A student who was pronounced dead in hospital may actually have been alive at the time and only later burned to death on a funeral pyre, Indian police say.

The family of Rachna Sisodia, 21, have alleged her partner, Devesh Chaudhary, 23, raped and murdered her.

She was reportedly admitted to Sharda University Hospital in Noida, Uttar Pradesh on 23 February with a respiratory condition, causing feverish symptoms and abdominal pain.

Doctors announced her death shortly before midnight on 25 February, the Times of India reported.

Ms Sisodia’s body was released to her husband, who carried out a traditional cremation with a small group of his own friends and family.

But when Ms Sisodia’s family became aware of this, they became suspicious and contacted the police, who interrupted the cremation and pulled the body from the pyre.

The corpse – which was more than 70 per cent burned – was turned over to forensic investigators, who found ash in the lungs and windpipe and concluded she wasn’t dead as her body was being cremated.

“This happens when someone is burnt alive,” an official told the Hindustan Times.

Everything is bigger in Texas including the Satanic Rituals

HOUSTON (AP) — Two MS-13 gang members from El Salvador, both in the United States illegally, held three teenage girls against their will and killed one of them in a satanic ritual, authorities in Houston said Friday.

Miguel Alvarez-Flores, 22, and Diego Hernandez-Rivera, 18, have been arrested and charged with aggravated kidnapping and murder — both first-degree felonies punishable by up to life imprisonment. Bonds totaling $300,000 have been set for each, but immigration detainers will keep both behind bars.

The 15-year-old girl’s body was found Feb. 16 with gunshot wounds to the face and chest.

Homicide detective Sgt. Chris Sturdivant said the girl’s identity has not been officially determined but that investigators are confident they know who she is — a girl reported missing in January in nearby Jersey Village, Texas.

The captives were three “young, impressionable women” ranging in age from 14 to 16 who succumbed to the allure of gang life before being taken to an apartment and held there against their will, Sturdivant said. The 14-year-old girl told investigators that they were fed drugs and alcohol and forced to have sex.

The girl said the 15-year-old was killed in a satanic ritual because she had struck the gang’s shrine to a satanic saint, according to investigators.

She told investigators that Alvarez-Flores made a peace offering to the figure in the form of a cigarette.

“He returned from the statue and told the entire group that the beast did not want a material offering but wanted a soul,” state District Judge Maria Jackson said during the men’s initial court appearance Wednesday.

The 14-year-old said she later awoke to find the 15-year-old gone, according to investigators.

The case comes as President Donald Trump is promoting concerns over criminal immigrants in the United States illegally. He has announced that he plans to create an agency, called Victims of Immigration Crime Engagement or VOICE, to serve victims of immigrant crime and their relatives. It will be part of the Department of Homeland Security.

“The majority of the MS-13 members we come into contact with are here illegally,” Sturdivant said.

READ MORE


2/28/2017 – Indie 180 – Travel Amygdala [Phone Interview]


BROADCAST TIME – 8PM TO 11PM EST.

LOCATION:

  • Call in: 203-794-OFNR(6367)

Brought to you in part by:

cc-logo

COLDCOCK WHISKEY

Made with aged American bourbon & herbs like green tea, hibiscus, eucalyptus, ginger, gingko and many more. Smooth taste, no whiskey burn.

TAKE YOUR SHOT!

http://www.coldcockwhiskey.com/

blowpaste-vegan-lube-toothpaste

Blowpaste

Unlike most lubricants that have preservatives and aspartame, Blowpaste is a simple way to keep your mouth clean and fresh while doing the deed. You can also use blowpaste for massage, lip gloss, and of course hand jobs.  Blowpaste is good for any cavity!  SUBSTITUTE YOUR TOOTHBRUSH WITH A DICK! BJ A Day with Blowpaste.

http://Cheekychacha.com


Upcoming OFNR related Shows, Events, and Specials
ALWAYS BOOKING GUESTS – If you are in a band, know a band, know of a band.

MARCH

  • 3.7.2017 – Omen Faculty [Phone Interview]
  • 3.14.2017 – Inversion Circus [Phone Interview]
  • 3.18.2017 – SWWL, VRSA, Falling Further, Vision Within – Cherry Street [Live Broadcast]
  • 3.21.2017 – NO SHOW
  • 3.28.2017 – Blood of Angels [Phone Interview]

APRIL

  • 4.8.2017 – Underground Rock Pound (Vision Within, Falling Further, Cross The Divide, Paragon Theorem, Sirius Fades and Vespera) – Cherry Street [Live Broadcast]
  • 4.29.2017 – Nasty Disaster 20th Anniversary – Hermon Von Roll’s last Stand… with EOTD and Garbage Barge. [Live Broadcast]

MAY

  • TBA – Star Wars Jeopardy – League

JULY

  • 7.9.2017 – Indie 180 Presents – 3 Kisses – Cherry Street [Live Broadcast]

Random Shit and FUBAR Topics

Fake Camel Toe?

Swear Words


INTERVIEW: TRAVEL AMYGDALA

Last time on air: 8.4.2015

1.5 Years

574 Days


Cannabis Collective

Spicer says tougher enforcement of federal law

The White House said Thursday it expects law enforcement agents to enforce federal marijuana laws when they come into conflict with states where recreational use of the drug is permitted.

“I do believe you will see greater enforcement of it,” White House press secretary Sean Spicer said regarding federal drug laws, which still list marijuana as an illegal substance.

That’s a reversal from the Obama administration’s stance, which laid out in an official memo that the federal government wouldn’t interfere in states where nonmedical use of marijuana is allowed.

That guidance was issued after two states — Colorado and Washington — voted to legalize recreational use of marijuana. Obama said in the immediate aftermath of those votes that the federal government had “bigger fish to fry” than cracking down on marijuana use in states where it’s considered legal.

Most drug enforcement operations are carried out by state and local authorities, with little involvement by the federal government. Enforcing marijuana laws has been considered a lower priority for federal drug agents, who have remained focused on curbing narcotics trafficking and combating a nationwide epidemic of opioid abuse.

Spicer on Thursday, however, linked marijuana use with the widespread abuse of painkillers, suggesting that allowing recreational use of marijuana could be interpreted as condoning drug use more widely.

“When you see something like the opioid addiction crisis blossoming in so many states around this country, the last thing we should be doing is encouraging people,” Spicer said. “There is still a federal law that we need to abide by when it comes to recreational marijuana and drugs of that nature.”

He was careful to distinguish between use of medical marijuana and recreational marijuana. President Donald Trump, he said, understood that marijuana could help ease suffering for patients with terminal illnesses.

Trump took varying positions on marijuana during his campaign for president. He said during remarks in June 2015 that legal recreational use was “bad,” adding he felt “strongly about it.”

But later that year he suggested the issue should be decided by individual states and not by the federal government.


Fuckem News

Demon Biter

STUART, Fla. (AP) — A Florida college student accused of randomly killing a couple in their garage and chewing on the dead man’s face told television psychologist Phil McGraw he was fleeing a demon-like figure named Daniel and only had a vague recollection of the slayings.

In a 22-minute interview released Tuesday by prosecutors, Austin Harrouff said he lost his wits as he walked back to his father’s home after storming out of a restaurant where they had an argument.

McGraw asked about “the devil talking to you,” and Harrouff went on to describe a “dark figure” he called Daniel.

“I got scared out of my mind,” Harrouff told McGraw, who interviewed him by computer when the former high school wrestler and football player was still hospitalized last fall.

Harrouff, 20, was arrested upon release from the hospital for the Aug. 15 deaths of John Stevens, a 59-year-old landscaper, and his wife, Michelle Mishcon, 53. Both had been beaten and stabbed. He could face the death penalty if convicted of murder.

The interview, which is now evidence in the case, was scheduled to air on McGraw’s “Dr. Phil” show last Oct. 28 but was pulled at the last minute without explanation. Prosecutors released it without comment after NBC affiliate WPTV hired lawyers to seek its release under the state’s public information law.

His defense team said the video is yet more evidence showing the deterioration of his mental health, but criticized its release as prejudicial. “Sensationalizing the details of this case pre-trial does nothing to advance justice in the courtroom,” attorney Nellie King said in the statement.

Harrouff, a bodybuilder who majored in exercise science at Florida State University, said he stripped off most of his clothes as he tried to run away from Daniel. McGraw asked what he was thinking.

“I just need to find someone to help me, to figure out where I am,” said Harrouff, speaking in a steady, even voice as his father, dentist Wade Harrouff, stood just off camera. “I don’t even remember what I said to myself. I just remember being afraid, scared.”

He said he doesn’t remember how he came face-to-face with Mishcon in the couple’s garage. He said she screamed, and “then it’s a blur.”

“I don’t remember what she said — I just remember being yelled at,” Harrouff said. He said he grabbed a machete he found in their garage, but doesn’t remember why he killed her and her husband.

“It’s like it happened but I wasn’t aware of it at the time,” Harrouff said, crying. “I don’t know, I don’t know. If I knew, I would tell you.”

Harrouff said he drank something he found in the garage after the attack. He refused to say what it was, but it severely burned his esophagus. He denied ever using steroids or hallucinogenic drugs such as flakka or bath salts. None showed up in his blood tests.

When sheriff’s deputies arrived, they found Harrouff on top of Stevens, chewing his face. It took numerous deputies, jolts from an electric stun gun and bites from a police dog to pull him off. They said they didn’t shoot Harrouff because they feared hitting Stevens.

3 Way Sex and Dead Bodies

An 18-year-old woman with a necrophilia fetish had three-way sex on the corpses of two men who she and her sexual partners strangled, it was claimed today.

Joshua Miner, 24, piled the bodies of Eric Glover and Terrence Rankins, both 22, together and placed a beige sheet across them so he and his longtime girlfriend, Alisa Massaro, could lie together on top of them at Massaro’s home in Joliet, Illinois, according to police reports.

Miner told police he remembered ‘years back’ that Massaro had told him she ‘wanted to have sex with a dead guy,’ so he hoped to fulfill part of her fantasy, according to documents.

Adam Landerman, the 19-year-old son of a police sergeant, may have joined Massaro and Miner’s sexual romp, as well, the report says.

Patch.com released the revolting new details today in the shocking January 10 murders – allegedly committed by Miner, Landerman, Massaro and 18-year-old Bethany McKee.

Massaro grinned when her boyfriend asked her to have sex and initially declined. Later, though, she admitted that she agreed to it.

McKee told police that she believes Landerman joined the sexual acts, as well.

McKee said Miner was the ringleader who came up with the idea who kill Glover and Rankins. She said Landerman was a ‘follower’ who only did what Miner told him, according to the report.

After killing the men, Landerman jumped on their backs and ‘surfed’ on their dead bodies, according to reports.

Period Lipstick… more like lip stuck…

A chiropractor in Kansas has invented a lipstick-like glue that will seal your labia shut during your period, holding all of the blood in until you go to the bathroom, according to a viral Facebook post.

It would be similar to when your lips get dry and stick together, an ad for the product reads.

“Have you ever woken up with your lips stuck together?” the ad reads.

“It didn’t hurt and it was kind of fun. All you had to do was wet your lips from the inside with saliva and they became unstuck. Mensez feminine lipstick is a natural patented compound of amino acids and oil in a lipstick applicator that is applied to the lips down under during the period.

Urine instantly unsticks the labia and allows everything to wash out into the toilet, wipe and reapply Mensez lipstick.

Clean, Safe, Secure and Done. Coming to a store near you soon.”

Anyone who has ever had a period knows that gluing your labia together is not going to work. And if the idea is that the moisture from urine will instantly unstick the glue, why wouldn’t the moisture from menstrual blood do the same?

The fact is that we already have effective solutions for “controlling” our periods, and any innovation in the menstruation department should be left to people who, you know, actually menstruate.

Yet, Dan Dopps — the man behind this revolutionary product — seems to think women have failed to come up with a good solution to their period problem.

“Yes, I am a man and you as women should have come up with better solutions than diapers and plugs,” he writes. “But you didn’t.”

I like to fuck… so Give me a break…

Workers in Sweden already enjoy some of the best benefits in the world, like 25 days of paid vacation a year, 480 days of paid parental leave, and high-quality universal healthcare.

Now one town official has proposed a novel way to make people’s lives even better: Paid sex breaks.

According to The New York Times, Per Erik Muskos, who is a councilman in the sensuous town of Overtornea, wants to give the town’s 550 municipal employees one hour of paid sexytime a week, a break which would fall in the middle of the work day. Because Americans aren’t jealous enough as it is.

In addition to adding to the town’s population, Muskos believes it would help marriages and morale alike. “Sex is also a great form of exercise and has documented positive effects on well-being,” noted Muskos, who I’m imagining is 10 feet tall, has fathered 17 children, and makes tender yet athletic love to his beautiful and accomplished wife nightly.

“We should encourage procreation. I believe that sex is often in short supply. Everyday life is stressful and the children are at home,” Mr. Muskos explained in his motion in Overtornea, a town of about 4,500 in the picturesque and remote Torne Valley. “This could be an opportunity for couples to have their own time, only for each other.”

While some people are ready to jump on board, others question the wisdom of this plan. How will they make sure people are using their hour for sex and not, say, naps or TV? Will Muskos personally inspect everyone’s bedsheets? What about the sad sacks with no one to bone? Do they still get an hour of sex time, and can they use it to jerk off? Musko acknowledges they’re still working out some of the kinks.

Oh what fun it is to fry and serve up your remains…

A man on parole for killing his former girlfriend and shooting his own mother was arrested in Indiana for killing his fiancée.

A probable cause statement obtained by WAVE says that Joseph Oberhansley allegedly stabbed Tammy Jo Blanton to death before eating a portion of her brains, heart and lungs.

Blanton called police on September 11 saying that Oberhansley, 33, was attempting to force himself inside her home. The authorities sent him away but they returned later to check on her at the urging of her coworkers.

When the police got back to the residence they discovered Blanton’s bloodied body in the bathtub with a portion of her skull cut out. The report added that, “Oberhansley further admitted to cooking a section of her brain and eating it.”

In 2000, Oberhansley pled guilty to manslaughter for killing his girlfriend and attempted murder for shooting his own mother.

It’s not the size of the boat… no actually it really is.
Fifty four-year-old Roberto Cabrera rose to fame in 2015 after a video of him weighing his penis went viral.

While it may seem funny to everyone else, a penis that is nearly 19 inches long has made Roberto’s life miserable. He can’t go to work and earn a living for himself or have a normal sex life.

As reported by Mirror Online, he says, “I cannot wear a uniform like anybody in the companies and also I cannot get on my knees. I cannot run fast and so the companies think badly of me. They say that they will call me, but they never do.”

He also faces health issues due to the size of his penis. It causes urinary tract infections, and he has to keep his penis wrapped in bandages.

Roberto can’t sleep on his stomach, and he needs a separate pillow for his penis at night.

A lot of doctors have advised Roberto to consider penile reduction.

“We have advised him that the best thing for you is that the doctors give a normal shape to your penis so that it doesn’t hurt you, in order to have sexual relationships, in order to have children.”

READ MORE

Oooh that smell…

The KunKun, Japanese for “sniff sniff”, is a bizarre device developed by Japanese corporation Konika Minolta that detects bodily odors like smelly feet or underarm sweat and notifies the user about them via a smartphone app.

So, yeah, the days of smelling your own armpits when nobody’s watching to see if they stink are over, thanks to modern technology.

Now you can just wear the KunKun everywhere you go and find out when you’re starting to stink just by checking your phone.

Bitches skirt was too short so I punted her in the head

Police arrested a man on Sept. 17 for kicking a woman in the face on a bus.

The 35-year-old unnamed man, who reportedly shouted, “Those wearing shorts must die,” confessed to kicking 23-year-old Aysegul Terzi because of what she was wearing.

“The shorts she was wearing were not appropriate. That’s why I was angry and behaved so,” he told police, according to the Dogan News Agency, which reported he had previously been diagnosed with manic depression.

Terzi, who works as a nurse, sustained severe bruising during the attack, which was caught on the bus’s closed-circuit television system.

However, despite the evidence and confession, a Turkish court released the suspect Sept. 18 on the grounds that he had committed no crime.

The court decision should not be too surprising, considering that Turkey has a terrible record regarding the treatment of women, as Al Jazeera reports. The murder rate of women in that country increased by 1,400 percent between 2002 and 2009. Some 28,000 women were assaulted there in 2013, primarily by their spouses. Almost half of Turkish women are reportedly physically abused.

The methods of abuse are numerous, ranging from pushing women off balconies to setting them on fire. One woman was buried alive by her family for listening to music they didn’t like, notes Al Jazeera.

“There is no point in asking what kinds of violence we see,” said a spokesperson for a Turkish women’s rights group, explaining that a better question would be: “What methods are not used?”

According to the rights organization Mor Cati, “Men turn to violence in order to establish their domination or when they feel it is threatened. Murder is one of the most horrific consequences of this violence. … Although we don’t have official statistics, the news in the media indicates that no less than three women are murdered by their husbands, boyfriends or their ex-partners every day.”

A United Nations report notes that violence against women in Turkey is closely tied to “the concept of honor with women, women’s sexuality and the control of women.”